I wanted to meet these ppl for so long and when I finally did, it wasn’t what I had expected. I was an adult when I met them, excited and nervous all at the same time. I was embraced by one and not by the others. It wasn’t long until that one changed their mind. What did I do? What could I have done to make this experience different? I was willing! I was ready! I really wanted to know these new people but, I was never fully accepted. It’s always hard to deal with something that is out of your control and this time, I could do nothing. Let me explain, I dreamt of meeting them, always pictured how great it would be to embrace them…sometimes things don’t go the way we would hope. They didn’t know whether to embrace me or not because things weren’t clear, ppl werent sure. But I was sure. As a child, I was told that these were my people. I was disappointed to find out that it was too late to be apart of “these people”. This is not to be mistaken as a rude letter or an evil message. No not at all. This is just a misunderstanding that has not been understood for 20 something years. It may never be clear but I had to stop trying because it was exhausting. I have promised that when I do get ready to have children, they will know their people and there will be no doubts in their minds that they are indeed their ppl. They will never have to experience that feeling.
I gave wrong people the right pieces of me.